Message not delivered. Call missed. Email unopened. All left unsaid, all remains unheard. To the last time you sent a text to a loved one, to that last call you made panicking, to the last time you wanted to see someone, to the time you never could.
The past year has proven that the world changes in the blink of an eye and holds you still no matter how much you want to run. It is a reminder that the people you meet and the memories you hold are not eternal. But what is time bound, is the distance you bring in between. It taught us that there will never be a right moment to tell someone that you care, or relive the old times with them. With the physical touch being a sacred gift now, that last hug, that last handshake, that last meet, the warmth of human presence telling you that, “Hey, you’re not alone” is what you escaped from and something we all longed for the past year. A pandemic brought us closer, yet we stood so far. You saw the world crumble with every tweet, story or post, asking, requesting and begging for help. You shared it immediately and did all you could to help them. At times there was hope at the other end, at times pure silence and a message that followed and said, ‘They’ve collapsed’ and you went back, mourning the loss of someone you didn’t even know.
You saw the news and devastatingly texted the friend you hadn’t spoken to in years, the cousin you always left on read and the teacher who told you to stay in touch after graduation only to find stillness from the other end. Your friend was struggling to help her/his parents, your cousin was now struggling to make ends meet and your old teacher, to survive. You recalled your memories with them, fearing the inevitable, knowing that you could’ve done more and as you realize this you cannot do anything. As the storm came home, you couldn’t hold anyone together. The pain was unbearable and the loss left an aching heart.
Our worst nightmares came true. Children left orphaned, parents watching their little ones suffer and the worst was not being able to say goodbye for the very last time. The wind blew still there was nothing to breathe. Pyres burned and so did the hearts of so many. People were buried like small bags in a time capsule, only that they won’t come back again. The world was a crematorium and all were a part of the funeral.
“If only we had known”, said all of us. But what we don’t realize is that had we known, then the departure would’ve been even harder. We all waited to finish that last conversation, embrace the person for the last time or just look at them before they turn into dust. But no conversation could’ve been enough. No amount of time would’ve filled that void and under no circumstance would death have been comforting. There wouldn’t have been a last time had we known that they’d be gone forever. There can’t be a closure to love that knows no bounds.
There is a hollow empty space within you, there is so much you wanted to convey and couldn’t, pain you wanted to share, laughter you wanted to partake and moments you wished to just be. The suffering may never end and that vacuum would always be there. It’s a reminder that we’ll meet again. That it’s just a race till the end and we shall be together again. For that hope, for that togetherness and the longing to meet once again, it’ll all go on and it’ll make sense. There won’t be any hurdles the next time, you won’t need a farewell.
Till then, we need to keep those who’ve gone, live through us. They won’t come back, yet they will continue to be here in spirit if we make an effort to keep them alive. It’s not the end, it’s just the interval and I hope one day we all see the happy ending together.
Very well written, Aaliya!
Aw, this was a really nice post. Spending some time and actual
effort to generate a great article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and never manage to get anything done.